Obviously, clubs vary, as do their rules. This list is by no means exhaustive and is just intended to be a general guide for people attending clubs. The easiest rule to remember is “Respect”.
No means No! Asking people to play or being asked is a compliment. Continuing to ask them after you get a “No, I’m not interested, but we can be friends.” is harassment. Show good grace. Predatory behaviour at “PlaySpace” will not be tolerated.
Touching someone in the BDSM community is a controversial subject. The best general rule of thumb is: Don’t do it, then it cannot be misunderstood.
Do NOT interrupt, speak to or touch any participants in the middle of a scene. Interrupting a scene will probably destroy any energy they have been striving to achieve. If a submissive is in bondage in the middle of the floor by herself, her Dominant is without doubt nearby watching over her safety (or he should be). If you are in doubt that someone is in a scene, watch and you will no doubt be able to tell.
Observe discreetly from a distance. Nakedness and play can make people feel vulnerable. Have common sense. Don’t leer and don’t comment on his/her body. Don’t talk to women’s chests. Don’t follow someone around or stare at them all evening, making them uncomfortable.
Collars have different meanings to individuals.. Many unowned submissives wear collars to indicate that they are submissive. Some owned submissives don’t wear collars at all. You can never go wrong by assuming that a collar means “owned”. The safest assumption is that if it’s got a collar, it’s got a Master/Mistress.
Complaints to Organizers and Crew of “PlaySpace” are given great weight and investigated thoroughly. Dungeon Monitors will talk to the involved parties. Involved parties may be asked to leave and their Member status could be revoked. The decision of Management is final.
Toys are very important items and quite personal items. Touching someone’s toys is not a good idea unless you are sure they do not mind. “Borrowing” toys which are “lying around” is exceptionally bad etiquette. Having your adult toys stolen is more than monetary. It’s a case of violation of your spirit.
Again, never touch someone’s toys or equipment without permission.
If you are playing in a place with a separate dungeon, don’t socialize in the play area, as it can be distracting to scenes. At smaller events, which don’t have separate play space, please keep your voices down and do not laugh out loud. Distractions cause submissives to come out of subspace and a simple laugh, conversation or running commentary on play can do it..
Do not speak to a Top during a scene unless he/she’s invited it. Don’t interrupt them for any reason except an emergency. This is just plain rude. There is no reason for it.
Always be quiet and respectful in scene areas.
Don’t play in the social areas unless equipment is specifically put there for it
Most play spaces have a limited number of scening areas and equipment. Be aware that other people may want to play and try not to take up too much time on one piece of equipment.
Don’t rest toys or sit on dungeon equipment. Others may want to use it.
If you make a mess clean it up and always clean the equipment after use.
If you tend to do play that looks non-consensual, PLEASE tell the DMs in advance. It’s not fun to have the DM break in on your scene in order to ascertain your submissive’s safety after concerns being expressed by onlookers. It tends to ruin your head space. . If you are going to do blood play, golden showers, resistance play, fireplay, or anything else that tends to be dangerous or against party rules, work out your permission with the host or hostess BEFORE the party. This makes for one less thing the host or hostess has to deal with on the night of a party (where there are ALWAYS several things going wrong). It also gives them time to notify the DMs that you have permission to do this.
You may see things going on that you may see as non-consensual, dangerous, disturbing, etc. “No” is not a safeword – neither is begging. A lot of people like to protest while they are playing. Having the submissive crying, screaming or struggling is not grounds for breaking in on a scene. For some people, this sort of play is fun. If you see what you feel might be non-consensual play, dangerous play, etc. do not try to stop it yourself, tell the DM or the Organisers and if they tell you it’s okay, take their word for it.
Use common sense…………..think before you act or speak…think before you offend.
Newbies do not be shy – speak to the organisers and Crew if you are unsure